How to be a super villain… using online classifieds.
After some trademark issues with our old site HaguesList (who knew that the International Criminal Court was litigious?) So, instead we took over a popular auction site and changed the name.
Hero-sized Security Guard
Security guard wanted who matches the exact height and build of most heroes attempting to sneak into compound. Experience being tied up in just your underwear preferred but not required.
Imperial Emperor seeking Bounty Hunters to
find and locate the Millennium Falcon. Substantial Reward.
No experience? No qualifications? No fashion sense? People willing to wear odd-looking garishly coloured uniforms needed. Must have own life insurance.
Intelligent 5’4 28YO Female Death Ray Engineer with great personality seeks the guy she had a “brief encounter” with the last Wednesday night and early Thursday morning. Let’s meet up again and again and again. ALA. Contact Ursula.
Sally Reynolds (nee Fourth)
(13-3-199mumble – 17-08-2015)
The body of Sally Reynolds was found washed up on the shore of the Arachno City River in what looks like the remains of the uniform of Madame Khaotik (who preferred to be called Captain Khaotik the Fourth). Police have assumed that Madame Khaotik kidnapped and killed Sally in an attempt to fake her own death. Madame Khaotik was last seen falling from the Arachno City Bridge after her attempt to kill the Human Spider was interrupted by the Lady Human Spider. Sally is the widow of John Jon Reynolds II (the son of journalist John Jon Reynolds I and nephew of millionaire Rudolph Reynolds.) Sally is survived by her newborn son, John Jon Reynolds III.
(31-12-1965 – 20-08-2015)
Family, friends and business associates are invited to the tax deductible work function to commemorate the life of Grove Stiletto, accountant and bookkeeper for legitimate businessman Silas Blade. Grove was found with his hands and feet bound and with more than 50 $100 notes forced down his throat. Silas Blade has stated that Grove probably just got hungry and members of his totally legitimate businesses need not be concerned. He also notes that there’s probably no connection to the recent violent murder of his entire Death Squad.
Save “Mutie” Charity Swim Memorial Service.
Surviving members of the Doomstar Bay community are invited to attend the memorial service for those killed by “Mutie” the mutant octopus during the recent ‘Save “Mutie” Charity Swim.’ Please come and remember the lives of our 28 friends who didn’t make it out of the water that fateful day. In lieu of flowers, please donate to the ‘Kill “Mutie” Fund.”
To the Loser of the Tan Briefcase.
Am unable to make the meeting time and place you suggest? Perhaps a week later in the cafe in my hometown of Denton Hollow. Don’t worry though, it’s still working fine, it hasn’t stopped ticking.
Lost – Orbital Death Ray.
Have you seen my satellite mounted orbital death ray? It was white and silver, had both space and Earth targeting functions and answers to the name “ODR001”. Last seen glowing red in a rapidly decaying orbit. If found, please return to a geosynchronous orbit.
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EMPLOYMENT: Obnoxious Security Guard.
Officious, Self-Important Security Guard wanted to man a gatepost at an Evil Overlord’s base. Successful applicant will be authority driven but with an arrogance leading them to turn their back on potential base transgressors to be satisfyingly bludgeoned.
LOST & FOUND: Lost – Mutant Octopus.
Oversized Carnivorous Octopus answering to the name “Project: Kraken” lost in the area of the Doomstar Undersea Lab. If found, please keep occupied until by henchmen arrive.
MISSING PERSONS: Baker, Jake Baker.
29 YO blond, short-haired former military commando, now working as “something in government, probably in accounting. Don’t ask.” Last seen at NYC Penn Station boarding a train to Washington, DC, with a tan briefcase chained to his arm. Anyone with into please contact the advertiser.
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