Even Super Villains need advice: The personal diary of a Super Villain should help…
For those starting out as a Super Villain, the road ahead can seem tough, so here are pages from my personal diary, helping you learn from my experience and showing you how easy it can be.
To start from the Start: visit the First Entry.
Saturday, 22 March 1992
Today the “Team Sinister” (as which is the new name I’ve come up with for us) ad for a new roommate was in the Super Villain Classifieds. The ad clearly said “No calls before 9am” but people started ringing us from 5am. That’s a sign of true evil, those are the ones we invited over to look at the place. The first three candidates unfortunately weren’t of the quality we required – falling through the trapdoor we set up into the crocodile pit below. That left only the fourth person, and, since we really wanted to fill the room as quickly as possible we decided to let the guy survive entering the house so we locked the trapdoor and decided based on the interview alone.
The person we did interview, Min Yon, is a henchman, which while we agreed later is in keeping with the villainous theme of the house, some felt that a group of evil masterminds sharing a house with a simple henchmen sent the wrong message. Since, however, Min said during his interview that he was barracked at an Evil Villain’s secret base and was really only after a mailing address, because his criminal mastermind boss has some stupid rule
about giving out the bases address we decided to give him the room. Unfortunately, Min said that he’d already worked as a henchmen with a group with the name “Team Sinister,” so were unable to use it. The rest of not-Team Sinister seem relieved.
Saturday, 29 March 1992
We started getting calls again from people wanting the room. Initially, we told them to get lost and assumed the Super Villain Classifieds had made a mistake, until Byron and his girl from last night come out of his room for some lunch and he mentioned that since Min Yon wasn’t actually using the room, he’d put the ad in again. So we started to arrange to interview those ringing in.
The first person told us that he was a government spy. Although I pointed out that that was better then him not telling us he was a government spy, the others believed he wasn’t an appropriate candidate.
Next there was a Intergalactic Overlord looking for a base of operations from which to direct his fleet’s take over of the planet and the wanton destruction of mankind. Everyone was keen to have him move in,
but it turned out he wasn’t interested in the room when he found out we keep meat in the fridge and being a strict vegan he couldn’t live with us.
Eveyrone thought the third candidate was prefect. She was a student studying for an Evil PhD via evil-correspondence at Bond University (named not after the oxymoronically well known secret agent James, but the Evil businessman Alan) and got along with all of “The Evil Cabal” as I want us to be called. She even liked the name “The Evil Cabal.” For some reason as soon as she said that everyone in house changed their vote and rejected her as new our housemate.
Our final candidate was a flickering apparition who told us that he was an evil scientist who was caught in the explosion of his Dimensional Shift Device and now existed slightly out of phase with the rest of the universe. He’d said he’d be using the room, but not actually in this reality. Byron said as long as he kept paying the rent, he may as well keep the room.
The “Six Against Good” are now the “Seven Against Good” (although it turns out, neither name is liked by anyone in the group.) It was also pointed out the “Six Point One Against Good” may be more accurate.
~ Dooms Unending Guardian.
Note: The above is taken from my actual diary written at the time. Some of the names have been changed to protect the evil. For example the name Min Yon is being used to replace the name of the henchman Lakk Ki to hide his true identity.